Wednesday, 5 February 2014

The final curtain – or just a long break?


I wasn't going to say anything. I was going to ignore the fact I have a blog (and a lovely bunch of readers) for a little while until I felt the urge once again. We all have full lives and I've never been that consistent with my posting, so I figured some time away would go unnoticed. Time away until I worked out whether or not it's the end of the road for my blog.

I stood washing up at the kitchen sink last night wondering if I felt like writing one of the dozen posts I have in my head. Shall I write the next declutter post? Or post about our second day out, just the two of us? What about homeschooling and my thoughts around that as we slowly get started?

I have plenty to write about, but the pull is slipping away. My life is suddenly very different now; I have very little time to myself and so much is calling for my time. Lots of systems I want to put into place, lots of things to practice, thoughts around money, family, relationships, goals needing careful attention. Ideally, I would live life and simply report back here – that's how everyone else does it, right? But I don't want to stretch myself so thinly just so I can do everything.

You can do anything, but not everything – David Allen

Mother, homeschooling parent, wife, cook, housekeeper, bookkeeper, gardener, blogger, friend, yogi, dog walker, dancer, book club leader… The list goes on. I want to do it all, but am I really doing each one justice? Are they jobs well done? Or am I watering the garden in haste to rush upstairs and read stories and put the boys to bed? Is Sydney just getting a quick walk because I need to get home and tackle something on my list?

This blog, this beautiful blog, feels like something I have to let go so I can put time and energy into doing other things slowly and exceptionally well. For the time being anyway.

I haven't been able to work out whether I just need to put some things on hold (like the garden – once I pull out all my summer tomatoes, eggplant and basil this month, I think I may just leave the soil bare for a few months) or if it's the final curtain. New beginnings, a fresh start.

I almost don't want to publish this post. My head's saying but you might feel like coming back in a week and then you'll look like a fool, but my intuition – the voice I listen to nowadays – says that I need to work on establishing a new rhythm, that I need to get this new way of life on track and work on ironing out aspects of our home life that have been tucked away.

If I listen to my intuition it's telling me to hit publish, so I will.

And then I'm going to organise my registration papers for homeschooling, clean the kitchen, take the dog for a walk and read a book. Slowly and exceptionally well.

So for now I'm tucking my blog away and trusting it's the right thing to do.

Much love to you all,

12 comments:

  1. Beautifully expressed Vanessa. Listen to that intuition, but know too that there are no rules with your blog. You can post whenever inspiration takes hold, and it doesn't matter if that's months inbetween posts. For me, I call it organic blogging - blogging when the time feels right (intuition tells me) and trusting the right people (for them and me) will be there to read. Know that I for one will always want to read your posts - love your words, and the rhythms of life you share. Take care of you, go slowly, and sending much love. Elisa xx

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  2. Love to you too. Shall miss your exquisite writing however quite undestand the need for space to do some important things out in real life right now. xxx

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  3. Listen to your intuition.....life is not a rehearsal, have fun with your family

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  4. vanessa, the juggle can be far too much. giving yourself to the wrong bits serves noone. you'll be back. when it's your time to be. in your own time. happy living lovely soul. x

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  5. I stopped my blog for awhile and shall be back when I feel the inspiration. Take your time. I enjoyed reading your blog and do hope you can be back sometime in the future. Wishing you a wonderful week.

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  6. Good on you for following your heart Vanessa. x

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  7. Vanessa I read your post some time ago and finally have a proper moment to comment! Yes you will be very missed but I totally understand, the whole social media thing as great as it can be it can also be very demanding of our time. It is so wonderful to be present in real life and not feel the call of the computer tugging us away. I hope you are enjoying the break and that homeschooling is everything you hoped it to be for your family xx

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  8. You'll be missed and thought of regularly, a little wonder here and there... And if wander back (sorry, in the mood for word play it seems) then please don't feel foolish for everything had a season and all the seasons are just as important to the growth of life. xx

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  9. Oh, just as I found you, I see you are stopping blogging. I understand though, and wish you a beautiful life.

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  10. I hope life is meandering on - slowly and exceptionally well
    x

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  11. I hope all is going beautifully for you and your boys Vanessa, and your days are filled with wonder! X

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  12. Hi Vanessa. I was just popping in to see what you have been up to, noticing I hadn't seen a post from you in a while and here you are with a kind of final hurrah...and I understand wholeheartedly how you feel as I feel a bit like this myself. I hope all is well in your world with you and your family. Mel x

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