Luca at farmschool this month, run fortnightly by a wonderful homeschooling family in the mountains
So here I am with less than one day to go of 2013 and I'm a bundle of emotions.
A little panicked, because in one week's time I'm going to be leading a group of women to talk deeply and openly about desire, and goals with soul. I signed myself up for this months ago, knowing that this would show me what I'm made of and that life can be incredible if I just dare. Whether I'm daring to win, or daring to fail, I don't know – I'm just daring to show up and shine.
A little anxious about how different next year is going to look. Homeschooling. How am I going to do it? How will I find time to myself? Is it going to be crazy? Will Luca be happy? These and more questions all doing a merry dance. But a friend told me to breathe today and said that it will be one day at a time. And so it will. Because Luca needs something that isn't currently on offer and so just as Louise Hay puts it, I won't worry whether I can do it. Life has steered this.
But mostly I'm just feeling a whole lot of gratitude. For yoga, for new friendships and life-changing discoveries, for clearing clutter in so many areas of my life, for valuing what I value, for my capacity to grow, for all the good there is, for living where we do, natural beauty, colour, food that makes me groan, for knowing what I want and how I want to feel.
I am more alive than I've ever been. Clearer, braver and just more me. I'm paying attention to what stirs my heart.
It's what I wish for all of us as the sun wakes the day on a new year. Wishing you abundant love and peace, and may you find more of what stirs your heart and brings you alive.